Thursday, June 04, 2009

On cleaning out the closet...

Have been toying with the idea of getting rid of this thing, and may get around to doing it sooner or later. The only thing holding me back is the fact that it's been around since 2004. Once something has existed for a while, I have a hard time disposing of it because of the sheer fact that it's old.

Like the other day, I came across a website that I had created as a 15-year-old. It's full of cutesy misspelled letters, is entitled Jessica's House O' Patootles, and has a dizzying use of capitalization throughout. The main content focuses on cows, corn, and punk/ska. In short, it's just awful. Before getting too embarrassed, I read through the website guestbook, and found equally stupid messages from people whom I currently consider to be successful and interesting. I guess even the most hip among us were 15 years old and typed words like "KewL" at some point in our lives. All of this is to say - I can't delete this old webpage because it's been around forever. But then, that isn't because I haven't tried - apparently I'm no longer considered the website administrator, so this puppy is going to collect internet dust until who knows when.

Along these lines, when I was young, someone gave me a Jesus action figure as a present. Always the type A personality, I was organizing my closet for fun at some point in elementary school and came across said action figure, which I never played with anymore. But what could I do with it? I didn't know much about faith, but did know that it was probably a sin to throw Jesus in the trashcan. So it sat in my closet for several more years. Then it was time to pack up and move to college. Action Figure Jesus is still in the back of the closet. And I can't get rid of this thing, because it's STILL Jesus, so in the closet he stayed. A few more years and I've finished college and am getting ready to move all of my belongings to Oregon - and I again found Action Figure Jesus hiding in the closet. Developing that sinking since of obligation, I placed him in a dresser drawer, and he (He?) came with us to Oregon and has sat in our damp basement for upwards of five years. And the thing is - HE'S STILL in that dresser drawer. It's like this terrible curse, because you can never throw Jesus-themed anything away without feeling like an awful person. If you want to make someone feel obligated for life, just give them a Jesus-themed teapot and watch them suffer.