east west

why not just eat two pounds of jelly beans every other wednesday?

yesterday, peter found two futons on the side of the road with a "free" sign on them. he took them, put them in our basement, and posted them up on craigslist. we had four phone calls within an hour, and he sold them both for $70.
the first people who came to check them out were awesome. they had just moved to portland from getting their teaching certificates in prague - there was a lot to talk about. it seems like sometimes you instantly connect with someone or you don't. but when you do, it's amazing. so they came to community group last night, maybe just because they didn't know anyone in portland and wanted people to talk to, or maybe because they were truly seeking. i felt a little nervous about it, especially because the discussion was supposed to be about fasting. and if you're not into God, or even any sort of spirituality, the idea of fasting seems completely arbitrary - altruism to the extreme. it had been a while since i'd been in any sort of intense spiritual discussion - so it was definitely beneficial, but left me feeling a little ashamed. maybe just because i didn't have any hard and fast answers. but isn't that what's attractive about this new form - the fact that we don't pretend to have all the answers? maybe just looking at things from the outside made me realize how much of a faith thing it is.
everytime i feel like this, it always goes back to an intense discussion i had two summers ago - do i even want a God i can explain? if i can explain him, then he's not big enough to be God.
i don't know if that's a cop out. but i don't want a God I can wrap my head around.

posted by jessica @ 11:54 AM