east west

and here we go

it's been too long - i don't even know what to say about that, except i unfortunately haven't been in a correct blogging state the past month and a half. not sure what to attribute this to - maybe the ever increasing anxiety i feel inside (no more caffeine for me), maybe because we have windows from the 1920's in our office which makes it too cold to type, maybe because i haven't allowed myself to see things through that baratta perspective (like the pigeons that took off over burnside yesterday in a way that could only be described as oriental - all of them were black save for one that was white - and that was all it took to set me off. i felt sorry for the white one because it wasn't the same. but i also felt proud of the white one because maybe it didn't care that it wasn't the same).
even now, i feel like i'm just writing for the sake of writing - so i don't feel guilty that the last entry was on november third.
we leave for virginia in an hour and a half. i have a daydream of putting on my best dress and throwing myself into the red clay so i would be stained forever. maybe i already am.
peter & i have been tearing up I-5 between portland & seattle recently. i was headed back from tacoma today and radiohead was on and i passed that statue garden thing (truckers know what i'm talking about) near winlock. it was raining and felt like a scene from a 90's angst film.

posted by jessica @ 7:21 PM